long time ago.

a long time post.

sorry for it i know that was a huge gap between another post just think i was passing some of my bad days.

well however this post goes to all readers.

those days in my life many changes happened i am wondering that how much fast life changes itself.
well it's just about destiny every one have to face i have many things to write but i know i can't even remember many things.

well the sequence i remember is like

i had broke-up

my result was declared i failed in 4 out of 6 and backlogs 2 were clear out of 6. i know that's disgusting result but no one can know how it feels when you work hard after study sometime and they don't even pass you and the one passes who wrote linking park lyrics in his exam..

part of indian corruption.

and now i am used to it.

my parents was depressed because of my result.

i was like i had a baddest thing happened in my life but time teaches to everyone so that i breath again.

i just spent some good times also but i don't remember any only many bunks and less attendance in college and all...

after that 4th sem started

family don't have enough money to go on.they wasn't even able to buy me books..(when sometime you're rich and when you come down on this stage it feels like you are facing the hell)

bad things were taking control on my mind.

i wasn't able to decide whom to trust and who is the friend of mine.

in this time i used to roam with van everytime bit of fun with my old group.

that was only good time of mine.. now the new group haves some of good persons like

mihir (chindi,BOB) - a good but duff person.

jackie - okay person a bit of un mature he is great friend of chindi.usefull person.

devn - little in hight bad with mind thought a person you may like to friendship with.

chavda - funny person non cultured.he does all the bad works in baroda.

dhaval - nice person good friend of van.i don't know how to describe this person.

mahesh - actually friend of dhaval but now days of ours also a great man with no attitue no complains and no demands.

and all goes oon no enough memory to write the moments..


one good moment is that i went to vasad for a technical event in college over there. suddenly at evening mama (mum's brother) called me and told me to come at office if we want to drink whisky.damn we were crazy with this. we drunk a lot over there because everybody was in stress and then damn tight fun..

well that's all about what i done.

but i just want to write some more i don't know why i feel to write this but i just want to...

as many guessed it's about love..

as my experience it's only thing that can make your laugh and cry also.i was wondering why peoples cry for loves but when someday i saw my face i was one of them.

it's crazy things but that all thing is known by everybody.

this below words for/on my life those person who feels boredom by reading that can hit the X button at right of top.

i never described i have loved many girls.sometime one side love sometime two side but no one dared to ask.sometimes no love just a relationship.and sometime only eye contacts.sometime miss match and that all..

in my 11th grade i came in touch of internet and in starting i started using it for knowledge then for fun.

i remember all day chatting and the impresson in all over chat rooms.a great friends whole day hang out in there.

it was a great moments of my life.

then i don't remember i fell in love.

large distance relationship and even over internet. i was not much mature but just feeling love i accepted.

and then 3 years of relationship.

many times about to be broken many fights many love moments and all things happenes in a internet relationship.


after that i starts liking a girl that looks like my entire GF


post continues.....

GOA trip

yeah as passing out from many difficulties at last we planned to go goa in vacation..

me,rajan,darpan,bittu,jatin,sankalp were contributed..

though we all were excited with this.. however we were passing time like hell..

passed x-mas and then 31st we had planned a lot for this... at last we decided to take car of my mama on rent and then we have planned all other things..

that was amazing we departed on 1/1/11 and the driver was awesome person sunil bhai...

20 year old cool and open with having good knowledge in his field...

well we were having fun on road... it was just like an dream was going to be complete...

and thus taking holds and having fun we were going over there... it was gonna take about 24 hours to travel to goa... goa is the most awesome place of India which is democracy not bounded from indian govt.

whatever it's a place having about 22 beaches and 3 longest beaches of world is in goa...
and many foreigners come there to hang out from many countries... in short it's a heaven..


well jatin is chain smoker and so he had to smoke everytime and i am almost turned into chain smoker.. so first while taking hold i had to hide and smoke from driver because i was afraid if he tell this to mama... well whatever after knowing him a bit we started smoking in car also....

we were smoking like 2 in half hour..


and thus we were moving..

at evening there was a traffic jam and we were stuck in traffic so we started smoking even sank were smoking it was like total hang over...

then after moving from traffic

all were sleepy and jatin must had to be awake because he was sitting beside the driver.so he was chatting with sunil bhai all the night...

at morning i woke up it was the turns of the mountains...

and we were about 150 km. and we were again much excited..

at last we were in Goa we found a guide over there..
and he took us to a room and we got a room... and it was direct by side of beach river...

it was awesome view and everybody was happy and so on we bought some tickets from guide to go on dolphin tour and then cruse and of goa tour bus...

we had 1 hour to be ready and then had to go we were on rush everybody wanted to go for bathroom and there were only one bathroom between 7.. duh crazy thing...

thought in rush we were moving for ride..

and then fucking guide he went somewhere and even he switched off his phone.. he gave us all the tickets of tours and we paid him good bucks and soo...

we kept calling him it was showing busy sometime and sometime out of coverage and once he sent me a message that he will call me later...

damn fcuking crazy trip...

umm i really don't know what to write in this... just to kill the time..

aat 26 we went to ahemdabad science city we just decided to go so...

tht was a crazy decision we were 6 and with less money... but all thing was planned well but many problem arrived. in morning i wake up late after snoozing the alarm all time.. though it wasn't actually late..

then called van he was ready he just told me that he is telling her mom that he is going to his friends home named abhay and he told me to talk to her mom as abhaay (what a crazy start with a lie)...

i talked to his mother and then she let him come out... then he came home and we went to pick up dhaval and at his home he wasn't ready and he didn't even had enough money..van forced him to come then he went to bath...

plan was changed we decided to manage his money from mahesh(a friend of dhaval he also wanted to come with us we just know him because he is friend of dhaval and a nice person also)

and then jackie went to pickup mihir(BOB) and then that crazy thing started how ever we went at a friends place (jiggi) and parked vehicles we came four peoples on two wheeler of van.. :P i was driving fucking crazy.

and then we had had arranged a auto rikshaw and went at place then took a shuttle for ahemdabad and then had talk and fun in car... it was feeling like great hang out but no one had idea what gonna happen.. the driver of car told us to lift over on high way and from there we will get some shuttle for science city.
and we believed him after paying him we climbed a bridge and then started waiting for a vehicle to drop us at science city we thought we have enough money to go over there....

but the riksha driver told us fucking hilarious amount to drop us over there... after that we decided to go at some other road preffered by the river and then ask lift we went there by shuttel and after some photography we went to that circle and then started asking for lift that cab driver told us fucking big amount again... we were about 30 km to cross for science city.. then we just begged (kind off) and told we are out of money and all then a driver told us not to pay else we can pay some off.. we just sat in and went to science city.. but we paid to driver.. he was a nice man..

then we went in paying for another entrance ticket.. and then went to 3D theater and then bob went to buy ticket for all...when he bought it he realized we totally out of money.. we thought they will return us some of deposits for glasses but they didn't hah all were afraid bob was shouting we are not going home.. and all..

after that i juust used my mind and i opened my wallet and there were mine 100 bucks note after pic of candy i use that to save always and dhaval had a note of 100 bucks also so we thought it will be OK with it... we just snapped some pic togather and then went to movie it was awesome experiance as pratik bhai told... we had fun with movie.. after that we went out and everyone was hungry.. hah

not a bit of something we ate from morning...
but we weren't able to eat anything and no one either had ATM for money...

so at out we started waiting for city buy for railway station. 1 gone 2 gone 3 gone.. no one wanted to stop and crowd was waiting for it.. some of hot school girls were also there...

we all were hungry waiting for bus and just hoping for home..

then van just found some old note it wasn't in good condition and i found a 20 rs note so we bought some cigarettes and some thing to eat me dhaval and van smoked and others ate we were eating like slowly just to save life kill the hunger...

it was fucking 2 hours waiting for bus... we did crazy things to stop vehicles.. no one stopped bob ran after bus to catch it but didn't worked after more half an hour a bus came and stopped we all rushed in and 2 hot girls also...

we used to push each other first but after sometime she gave me her hand to lift up.. well we were in bus and then after a thought came that where we are going.. then jackie called his uncle and just took some info to get to station and after some we got where we have to drop..

in bus we had to buy tickets but due to less money we just didn't bought ticket even we were standing and too many pplz were in the bus so we didn't needed to buy.... in bus we had long to travel for station caz ahd is a big city i called hardik he is living in ahd now hoping he can help me for money but he went to drop his father so he wasn't even able to come....

well in bus we were having fun.. first i was standing in front of an aunty... in bus there wasn't even enough space to stand over.. well we managed.. in bus crowd that aunty was standing near me and his face was close enough to mine face and i was like touching her whole body due to that crowd.. when i realized that thing i just turned my direction but that aunt told me to stand near her... duh she just pushed me near her.. i was like WTF... she started touching my budy surprising.. i was in big trouble she was seducing me and touching her boobs to my body damn after that i just felt some space near bob suddenly i just moved away... and after some time that bitch thought some thing and she went away to the sit of his some realation and she sat.. damn i was like oh thank god... then after that 2 hot girls were just having talk with each other and dhaval van and jackie were standing righte after em so they were just giggeling ou our talk... and all stuff then they both moved near me at some space... and it was still like crowd one of her started pussing me from her back again i was like WTF.. i didn't know to get happy or to get afraid... whatever i had to bear it...

that girl started touching my penis slightly with her ass and started moving closed back side... i was sweated and all of my friends were enjoying that..(they just had idea when bob told em)..

after that the crowd increased in bus... the girl was much closer almost touched.. all touched...

she started seducing me... i was sweating..

and she was just like sucking my penis with her ass.. i was like idk what it was afraid fun anger idk it was just going on and other girl beside her just pulled out her phone and typed her no in it and wrote in msg that call for love... but i didn't noted it (because i don't want to love anyone again because i know the pain...)

after that both girls went out at one station staring at me.. and after that all of friends yelled at me why i didn't took the no. well i was just quite van knew all about me so he handeled all thing...

well after that the bus stopped at one stop and the conductor went off.. for report i think and we skipped from bus one by one(because we thought there will be sudden checking and we well be caught and fine and all) so we just hired a cab and by luck railway station was near so we had not much to pay for it.. so we just took two cabs and went to station in between me and van just hided a packet of lays in my bag.. we ate it because we were much hungry and we didn't wanted to share it with anyone... it was nice...

at station we were afraid because we had only some few money and had to go home in next train because all had to go home and there wasn't even a train if we miss that one..

well by luck again mahesh found note of 50rs in his wallet we were yess damn yess... we bough ticket only 2rs left after that jackie got some 10rs saved and bought biscuit packet and ate it it was feeling like 64 sweet... duh..

in train it was rush for sit... well we were about to hope in before crowd does but we didn't because there were some old persons wanted come out.. soo we just gave up and let em come out.. we lost the sits and we had again to stand up but we just got the doors place to sit... a risky sits ever... we sat there.. and with help of music and talk we came back and teasing that persons out of train and shouting em slangs and all... that was awesome fun with friends i will ever miss it.. how fucked up we were.. tension some of mind games.. not paying for ride... getting seduce from a girl and aunt...escape from bus... that cigarette at empty stomach... that amazing movie fun... and those friends...



BTW those days i am so fucked up and i just keep smoking i can't sleep and i just behave as a broken heart... i am a broken heart... just friends came and i just have fun with em all but they also know what's going on with me.. just talked a bit with candy today and she told me something weired things...

when she asked me why i'm behaving like this and what happened with me.. i was fucking shocked that she don't even know wTf happened with me.. she did those.... a water just started falling then jackie IM me what are you doing i said talking to my x GF he asked who? i said candy i saw you a pic of her i use to put her on my phone wallpaper (that was because i thought i am just alive living for her...)
he replied oh yeah that chine... that made me smile..

i just got something that there's some other loving thing also instead loving a girl and getting hurt always.. bt i just ....

well candy went off.. and now i know as usual i can't sleep another night...

and just going upstairs to kill the sadness with firing a cigarette...i do smoke a lot those days and i don't have any regrets doing it...

WTF

hey you all i am just writing what happened/ing with me iin those days...

exam days are like hell. i decided i will study a lot and hard and pass all the subject but the luck wtf with it..

whenever i prepare a lot the exam get ruins by something.
when i don't even read for exam it goes extreme superb.

well and after exam we all meet at jatin's room and enjoy hukka.
idk wtf in my mind but i lost half of my weight jatin and sank told me not to tense i don't know if i have some tension in my mind which are cause of that..

well actual thing is i am highly tensed family,love,money,friends,girls,problems all that keep sucking inside my mind aswell in heart.

those days i kept smoking a lot and hukka twise a day.bit hard study.
and all those fucking things happened with me which are not supposed to be.

fight with family
no curse
problem with money
thinking a lot about some people
career

and all...

idk how many times i do cry for nothing or something idk.

i just smoke smoke smoke and smoke and smoke andd smoke.....
maybe a hard pain inside my heart.

i am skinny much again.

and idk i keep cougihng all the time. fuck i don't wanna goto doc.

and exam suck like nothing..

we enjoy but i cry
we do fun but i take pain inside
i show my self better but no one knows what's that i hide

well

i just miss candy a lot and seem she don't have any kind of feelings for me.no time and one important thing no love.. maybe she find some way to peep in my heart how much i love her.

but the fucking thing is i can't throw her off out off my mind

she keep sucking all time

she stucked in it

she is the thing from which i am afraid of

i keep missing her and i miss her in every thing every moment if i see anything i get remember of her face..

somebody explain wtf happening with me..

all of my friends share anything and i just start word with candy...

why why why why fucking that shit thing happening with me..

i am sychoo maybe or yes i am

and she is the reason.

fuck fuck fuck get off from my mind...

i don't see any light that can bring her near me...

hope i see something to forward my life on...

those smokyy days...

exams are on those days and i don't tense much about it.
because i gotta beautiful world.

those days are going in toxic time.it's actually exam but it's fun for us.
at first exam it was EEE and nishil came for night hold.
we smoked cigarrates and then started studying together.then after completing one chapter we keep smoking and then at late night.its winter season too much cold.we goto roof and there we start fun with hukka.

and that goes on everyday.
new thing is that we bought bottel of whisky.

when there was a gap between two exam days.we decided to get drunk and sleep at jatins home.

everybody was excited but nishil had to go for dinner with family and sank wanted to chat with rocio so me and jatin left.

we bough the bottle a lot of bitings coke and soda then party started in starting we were drinking a bit with lot of coke but suddenly nishil came and then he started drinking neat.he took 4-5 neats and then he felt down.we were shocked then we started taking it neat...

od damn we were totally out of mind.nishil kept asking for another one but we knew he is ou of limit he starts vomiting after any hard task.

then i don't remember what i did that night pooja told that i talked with her long at night.other friends got my idiotic messages and jatin told i was actually gonna hold at his room that night but he told i was suddenly wanted to go home he dropped me at home i don't actually remember how i came home and when i woke up it was around 3pm.i was hungry a lot and i didn't remember anyrhing about last night.
a rough memory was...

andd ahh what a great time it was...

after that night before the paper of EME nishil brought some whiskey at my home.
and then me sank and nishil was over here in my room.
we studied only a bit then we started smoking.
then comes todrnking we drunk fully tighted condition.and they smoked hukka uh damn

we did silly things as i remember we did pee by standing on the wall of my roof from 3 floor. and there some of awake old persons were staring us.we didn't even care.

then nishil started vomiting huhh he did that for half an hour...

uh it was fun though after that we went out of home at about 2am to buy some stuff we were hungry. we bough ciggarated and bidi damn...

and some biscuits.. we were out of mind we acted like dogs with the that stole holder.

haha we told him to make the bill in arabic language.... wTf

he did....

and then we messed up with dogs. we make noise then they bark and run after us and we go on full speed on two wheeler... :P

then again smoking and then fun..

over there we were having fun by firing the deodrent from lighter if you know the spray burns with great flame if we fire it... and nishil was taking video of that i didn't knew i had a poison spray to kill insects... suddenly i sprayed it on sank...

haha i burnt his some hairs... it was craziest thing...

then fight for space to sleep well... we fought like dogs. tottally hangover.

then they slept and i completed watching prison breakk.duh till 5 am then i slept a bit then prepared for exam.

mine math 1 math 2 was crap...i wrote some from dharti..

and some only...

well after that mos was today.
i smoked hukka alone in my room.

i was untoxicated fully loaded i was not even able to stand up.
i brought some new hard flavour from dishangs home..(we chilled with hukka at his roof also on same day... there were 6 firends oh dishang... duh it was fun)

then mos was a bit sad. because i missed writing of 25 marks... :(

and those days i started smoking ciggarates a lot a lottt same as chain smoker..
with jatin and every evening with van at bridge..
today we went to bridge me van and dhaval we have boght tea becayse it was much cold out there...

it was fun... uhhh

well after that we were again to jatin's room we smoked,hukka and whiskey also totally out of mind.. sank just slept over there.. it was funn..

and now i don't know what to do.. maybe drinking more... or i may prepare for last K.T exam for tomorrow..
whatever you have fun everybody....

smoking days... am i dragging life??

hey..

i don't know those days are going or passing or i am dragging...

the vyvas are finished.and now it's reading vacation.so boring time i wake up late and then i don't have any plan to do..

well however that's just a part of life.

well i have been smoking more and more these days.i didn't one day because candy took promise from me.. i don't know how it worked.. i went to bridge also and then van and dhaval was smoking and i was just watching them.. that was a hardest thing to do for me.

but after that day i smoked double cigarettes hehe

well if you know i have asked candy to marry me.. she it thinking or whatever she's doing i am waiting for it.and i have told her that if she commits me i will leave smoking/decrease it.

yesterday that dld bitch told us to come to college else she won't put marks of vyva exam of ours..

some of went like sank,nishil,sunny,rajan...

i knew that bitch is just showing off.. so i didn't went and it was just a stunt of her..
she took lecture but she didn't took attendance hehe..

i was been to post office yesterday. i had some work over there.i went there after one year.. last time i went there to post candy a letter..

well post office is much technical now.technical boards good seats lots of computers duh but still one thing is same...

the old glue that been made from a tree..

sticky glue and they didn't even had something to glue.. the glue stick was totally messed up.. i had to glue it with my fingers.. after long time i had stamped the stamp tickets.. i watched gandhiji and netaji subhash chandra boz on stamp.. it was feeling quite good. uh.


i have bought the screen guard and surface guard for laptop its waste of money i bought a tatto to stick on surface and it was so costly still i bought it. i failed to stick it and i threw it away...

well this transparent guard is not placed well however it looks like design so i didnt messed up..

with family i am behaving rude much rude...
i want a bike and they dont get me one even they know i really need it..

i don't know whats going in their minds...

today sank called in morning and he told i will have to go with him.. he didnt told the place but i knew it was R.T.O office to get his driving license. i know that is boring process ever and nishil dragged me over there without telling where we were going i wasted my 3 hours with him standing in ground. my full body was sweating..

damn..

and nishil didn't told sank that he went to R.T.O office even he told me to come at his home before we were going...

and that sucked my mind they fought and i was in middle.. they sucked..

they fights and they take me in the middle and i can't do anything..

so i just told sank that i am going on long drive with someone.. he kept telling to cancel it. i really didn't wanted to go..

and then he told that i am going much more into the girls.. i was shocked.

they have kept telling me that i don't have any gf from baroda and i show attitude to girls and all and i don't have daring and i am after that taiwani slut..and i am gay...


because of that i made some friends(the best one in baroda so that they have been jealous)..

and he added that i am not watching friends because i have some girl friends..

i replied you should think why that happened. and he tld i made him alone..

huh he really have to think before speaking a word.. i never told a word when they go to college without me on nishil's bike not even when they keep teasing me with gay..

and never argued even there's not a fault of mine..

duh i don't want that.. nomore..

fuck that lusty egoistic friends...

i've used to band myself a lot..


sank txted me that he canceled plan and i will have to go tomorrow with him..

i am not gonna go with him..why to waste my study and time after that lusty friend.. duh i wont.

andd i forgot to add that he told he will gimme treat of vadapav... damn you asshole do i look like a beggar?

and i am not even a worker of yours so that you can keep ordering on me..


well i have studied DBMS today and it was quite fun with books.though i just finished one chapter only..

i have 6 days left for my examinations...

i will have to solve 3 K.T out of 6 and to pass in all regular subjects... a preety good task..

but i know i will do it..



today i bought a bed seat.. from my money i asked mum that she is giving me money or not.. she told i will have to ask to papa.. i just unleashed my piggy bank and bought one..

everybody at home was just like watching WTH...

that is soft one and i bought that because i really needed one.. papa took one away from my room and i was like sleeping on floor so i bought new one.. from my saved money.

even i bought costly weight grainer from my own money.

well okay now

i am signing off..

a bit hardworking boy

deep :) thank you...

those smoky sad days...

hey there..

hope all things are alright there.. because nothing right happening in my life now...
i don't know that's right or not...


whatever many things happened but i don't wanna share anything.


there's just a thing smoking in life now.. vyvas and submisions going on so i goto college and i missed vyva of yesterday because i woke up late...
and then time keep passing.. uh

those days i am just converting into a chain smoker.. me van and his common friends goto a bridge (definately i found that place).. and we buy different strong cigarattes and then we smoke and yesterday even we bought beer and we went to mac'd i was veg. but i bought non veg meal.. and on..

after that nishil and sank came at night they planned to eat eggs they aren't allowed to eat eggs from home..

they wanted to experiance it for first time.nishil was the one for first time.

and then we went to eat eggs.. we almost ordered all the things from the menu card.it was fun.they decided to night hold at sank's home but i didn't wanted to let em know my feelings because i don't like someone make fun of my true feelings.

and so i just lied and yesterday it was the night when the "PAALKI" comes home its the time when god marries and after that they roam in whole city.. soo i just was been at home.. completing my BE asignment all the time and watching prison break.. dhaval a FB friend reffered me that.. that is a awesome season...

and then i slept at about 4 am... i and now we aren't going on bridge to smoke.. maybe i call dishang today. and we will definately have fun.

my life is so fucked up and that's why i use to smoke.. however..


i just love someone out of limit..maybe god gonna punish me for that..